To Believe in Yourself, Purely

Writing without SI. A feeling I haven't had in a long time.

It's clumsy, and there are contradictions. But maybe that's exactly wabi-sabi.

Since I was a brat I've poured my passion, purely, into one thing.
It's the realization of a world where, through the advance of science and technology, people's lives are sustainable and rich.

My mother read aloud to me for hours every night. From before I could speak.
Nikola Tesla, Edison, Einstein, the Wright brothers, Armstrong.
They were heroes, they were who I longed to be. And at the same time it killed me. So I looked down on them, I put them down.
I could do it too, but my parents, my parents' parents' parents, had sex and conceived a child later than those guys did, just for that, they fucking stole my work from me!
That kind of feeling. Ego and narcissism. A thought full of self-love, genuinely disgusting.

But what pissed me off even more was the despair of it — is this all the civilization those so-called great men built?
Because it's nowhere near the world I picture.

Flying freely all over the galaxy, pioneering planets, mingling with the species of other planets, setting out on a journey to the edge of the universe. Flying freely inside a planet too, imagination reflected into the real world at once, soaking in delight in an alluring skyscraper city. Inside that technology society, hyped to the absolute max, sometimes fighting, sometimes falling in love, loving, swearing responsibility, saving the world together with the one I love.

A world like this will never come in a lifetime unless I make it. That's what I always thought. The spring I was twelve. Until the spring of my first year of junior high.

That was when I watched a video that summed up Elon Musk. It kills me. I want to die. Why am I even alive. That was the feeling. The feeling of your parents being killed in front of you. My spine froze, the future went out of sight, and sweat mixed with oil burst out all over my body.

It kills me. Back then, maybe I wanted to be king of the world. So an overwhelming number one who wasn't me scared me. And above all, the meaning of my existence was the future I picture. And that was not mine alone. Which means I'm just a lump of protein and calcium. Garbage. I lost my identity.

That's exactly what lit the fire. An idea, until it's implemented in society, is the same as not existing. So I made up my mind to do it. But the real passion is somewhere else. I can tell what that guy is thinking, as if I were holding it in my hand. As if we were connected by telepathy. And that's exactly why I saw a terrifying future.

So there I made up my mind. That I will never give up. And that I will become a hero.

Right up to today I have not wavered at all. Every time I see my parents, my old classmates, my old homeroom teachers, they tell me. You're exactly the same. Yes, I still hold that first passion, purely. I don't waver. I don't bend. I purely just want to make a good world.

That purity was recognized in Japan, the Japan where they say money is hard to raise, the Japan where they say nobody takes risks, the country they say is hard on the young and values nothing but track record, and I raised the largest pre-seed round in the history of the Japanese economy. People understand. People are all pure and beautiful. They just build a shell somewhere and shut themselves inside.
But everyone still hasn't forgotten, can't forget. That pure feeling.

Sometimes purity gets laughed at. But I will carry this through. Believing that everyone will notice.

Right now the world, starting with SI, is being made to stand at the biggest fork in the road since we evolved into multicellular life.
That's exactly why now, people need to take each other's hands, raise their awareness, face the problems and solve them.
I am here to make that utopia.

I will not tell all of it yet.
Because I am an artist. That, I express only by reflecting it into the world.
Because that is my mission.